Stop Waiting to Be Chosen: Reclaim Your Power in Modern Dating

I’ve noticed something lately — something that drives me absolutely crazy.

Brilliant, successful women — women who have built businesses, raised kids, overcome heartbreak, and rebuilt entire lives from the ground up — freeze when it comes to love.

They don’t swipe.
They don’t reach out first.
They sit in their “Likes” tab like it’s 1952, scrolling through men who already liked them and trying to make one of them fit.

And I get it.
Because I used to do the same damn thing.

💔 I Was Taught to Wait

I grew up believing that being chosen was the goal.
That being “picked” meant I was good enough.

The church taught me that a man finding a wife was a blessing — as if women were prizes sitting on a shelf waiting for someone worthy to notice them.
Fairy tales reinforced it.
Culture sealed it in.

I was taught to be desirable, not decisive.
To be patient, not powerful.
To wait quietly for love to come find me — instead of walking right up to it.

So when I started dating again after divorce, that programming showed up everywhere.
I was accomplished, independent, confident… and still afraid to make the first move.

That’s what patriarchy does best: it keeps powerful women small where it matters most — in love.

⚡ The “Good Girl” Programming

Every time you feel that flutter of hesitation before sending a message or making the first move — that’s not fear.
That’s conditioning.

Generations of “be a good girl” messaging has taught us that waiting is feminine and wanting is shameful.
That “real men pursue” and “good women don’t chase.”

But here’s the truth:
You’re not chasing.
You’re choosing.

And choosing first doesn’t make you desperate — it makes you dangerous (in the best possible way).

💡 The Real Problem with How Women Use Dating Apps

Let’s talk logistics.

Most women don’t even use dating apps correctly.
They sit in their “Likes” tab — which means they’re only seeing the small percentage of men who already noticed them.

That’s like being the CEO of your own life and only interviewing whoever happened to apply — instead of headhunting the kind of partner who actually fits your vision.

When you do that, you’re not dating.
You’re auditioning.
You’re outsourcing your power to whoever happens to notice you first.

That’s not divine timing.
That’s digital submission.

👑 The Shift: From Waiting to Choosing

The moment I stopped waiting to be chosen, everything changed.

I started sending the first message.
I started deciding who I wanted to meet — not waiting to see who wanted to meet me.
And I started attracting men who matched my energy instead of draining it.

Choosing first doesn’t make you masculine.
It makes you magnetic.

Because the right man?
He’s not intimidated by a woman who knows what she wants — he’s inspired by her.

💥 The Real Flex

You’ve already rewritten every rule in your life — money, motherhood, career.
Don’t let love be the last place patriarchy wins.

Stop waiting to be chosen.
Start choosing.

Because the real flex was never being chosen…
it was having the power to decide who’s worthy of you.

💬 Ready to Rewrite Your Story?

If you’re done waiting and ready to attract a high-value man who matches your ambition, your values, and your energy — let’s talk.

✨ Book a free Dating Strategy Call with me and learn my 7-step strategy to get a high-value man to commit in 5 dates or less. ✨

👉 Book Your Dating Strategy Call Now 

Because love doesn’t reward the ones who wait.
It rewards the ones who choose.